Designer organs and excess

When stem cell research will allow for the easy, cheap and safe replacement (and tinkering) of organs, a pandora's box of excess will open. Get ready to hear new excuses. Imagine Keith Moon and Jim Morrison in a bar. After 3 days of non-stop binge drinking, the bartender warns them of the consequences of overdoing it. Its alright, mate, I've already bought me next four livers and two sets of lungs!"

Other things we'll be hearing include..

Needles? My arm is 'specially made to cover the holes. They're gone in the morning.
My new stomach is puke-proof! We can party till winter.
My new intestines are set so I don't ever have to piss or crap again - imagine the time and toilet paper we'll save, honey!?
Don't mind my burps. They're set to smell like roses.
I have a remote control that lets me choose the smell of my sweat - anything from a spring garden to the latest perfume.
When I'm in the mood for steak, I eat as much as I want. Evaporates somewhere in my stomach before it has a chance to bother anything down there.
My sweat was changed to a mix of soap and cologne.


The crazy scenarios include..

Those outrageous contracts that CEO's get will include a new heart every so often.
Spies and police will show more bravado.
Fools will jump off higher buildings.
Athletes will be tested for drugs and bionic improvements.
The Bionic Olympics.
Machines will be connected to construction workers.
No need to worry about an angry wife cutting off the family jewels!


It brings up a few questions..

What % of your body has to be non-natural before you start to lose rights?
How will insurance agencies cash in on this?
Does drug rehab make sense when there are disposable organs?
What happens to metal detectors when 10% of us have metal in our bones?
Will Marlboro let you collect points to eventually win a free lung?

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Kenny Sahr